If you have taken the course you will remember the STOP signs

STOP!

When we're tired or grumpy, it's easy to treat people badly - especially those we love most, who are closest to us. The trouble is that the next half a dozen nice things we say to each other will then be lost in the bad memory of the ensuing argument.

This is why its so important that we recognise our automatic bad habits and nip them in the bud. Otherwise, however nice we are to each other, we will miss all the positives in our relationship and will always be thinking about the negatives.

My responsibility is to change my own bad habits and NOT point the finger at my spouse or partner!

By nipping my own bad habits in the bud and saying sorry, I can prevent a minor misunderstanding from turning into a major row. Little changes make a big difference.

The four bad habits are called STOP signs

S stands for SCORE POINTS (watch video - click here)
If your partner talks to you about something you have done, which has upset or annoyed them, don't defend yourself by bringing up something they have done to annoy you. Stick to the issue.

T stands for THINK THE WORST (watch video - click here)
Don't assume your partner is out to get you. ‘Flowers? What has he done?’ or ‘She's being nice? What’s up?’ Think the best, ‘he's being thoughtful’ or ‘she’s being nice’.

O stands for OPT OUT (watch video - click here)
Don't walk away and say something like, ‘I'm not talking about it anymore’. Take time out to cool down if you must. Then come back and discuss it. ‘This isn’t a good time to talk. I'm really tired. Let’s talk tomorrow before work’.

P stands for PUT DOWN (watch video - click here)
Don't insult or belittle your partner. ‘You idiot’ or ‘You shouldn't feel like that.’ And don't roll your eyes in contempt. Put downs kill relationships.